Birthday Attack
by awesomeinhumanfrom
Summary: Kakazu has his bday today, and instead of receiving presents he calls in debts! And now, at the hot spring, he decides to call in a particulary cruel debt on deidara...ku ku ku ku ku
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Ino Yamanaka slid through the streets of Amaguyakre, one thing on her mind. She had to relax. She rubbed her big blue eyes that were now haunted by two purple bags and yawned. This mission was too much. She was undercover as a ninja, leeching off information. That, in and of itself, was stressful enough to make her lose sleep. What she really needed was some alone time to kick back and relax. Time to get this accursed mission off her mind. A big smile stretched across her face when she saw exactly what she was looking for: a hot spring.

When she walked inside she noticed it was a very traditional looking place. It was cozy and warm and she sighed as she felt the stress being lifted from her. She looked over and noticed with a small smile that it was separated. Ino walked in happily after paying, stripping off her clothes along with her worries. The water relaxed her the moment she hit it. She closed her eyes and sat in silence before she was startled by a loud noise. She whipped around to hear arguing from the boy's side.

"Konan's not here! What was the point of coming?"

"She was sick and we could't delay Kakazu's birthday."

"This is a crummy way to celebrate a birthday if there aren't any chicks over there, un."

"If you do it I'll consider you're debts repaid." There was a moment of silence. Then a heavy sigh.

"Un."

"Oh my f***ing Jashin, he's f***ing doing it!" She shook her head and zoned them out. She wouldn't let her relaxation time be destroyed by boys.

...

i know, i know! Its kakazu's bday, why are you writing about ino? Don't worry, there will be no pairings. At all. I just hate making OCs and I like ino so i decided to use her! Plus, Ino gets mad easily, hence the name 'birthday attack!' You will soon see that there is purpose to her being here!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Deidara

Kakazu was so greedy that he refused to spend money on his own birthday. Instead, he spends the day calling in debts. That was why I was taking care of my debts before something more embarrassing came into his twisted little head. Besides, there probably wouldn't be any girls over there anyways, right? I pushed open the door and entered hesitantly, gripping the towel over my chest just in case it turned out that there was a girl in the hot spring. I walked in, praying that there was no one inside. Luck seems to hate me more than Sasori-danna does.

She had her eyes closed, but the moment I stepped in they flashed open, turning and studying me. Too late to run now, I guess.

"Hello." She said cheerfully. I grimaced at the laughter coming from the men's side.

"Hi, un." I said, trying to make my voice feminine. It sounded like I had lost my voice. She rose an eyebrow at me.

"What's your name? I'm Miku." She said happily, fluttering her blue eyes at me. I bit my lip as I tried to come up with a girly name.

"Un..." I said, the only name I could think of being 'Konan.' She giggled and I blurted out a random name in response. "Kima!"

"Shy, huh, Kima?" I nodded feverently, hoping that she wouldn't talk to me anymore. Instead she laughed a bit harder. She looked a bit confused when her laugh was joined by some more laughter from the men's side, but she quickly regained herself. "It's okay, I know a really shy girl. She's my best friend, actually." She trailed off with a dazed look and I chose that moment to try to sneak out. Unfortunately, she was quick to notice me.

"Where are you going? The water's nice!" She patted the spot next to her and I desperately tried to think up an excuse.

"My...boyfriend..yeah! I have a date, un!" I feverently ignored the laughter that followed my statement. When I got over there I would show them my art, screw Kakazu's birthday. The girl's face contorted to a disappointed expression and she pouted at me.

"Pleeeaaase." She begged. "I don't have anyone to talk to." She gave me big puppy eyes and I scowled at her.

"What about that shy girl, un?"

"She moved." I sighed.

"But, my date, un."

"Fine." She sighed, looking down. I waved at her and quickly scurried out, rushing back to the safety of the men's side.

...

alright, so kakazu's bday and the remaining bdays are gonna be short, sweet, and to the point so i can start my newest story. I have so many exciting ideas! Hope you guys enjoyed this ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Kakazu

I grinned smugly as Deidara slumped back onto the men's side, greeted by laughter, cheering, jests, and a slap on the back from Kisame. Kisame then proceeded to pull Deidara down into the water with a heavy splash. Deidara came splashing and panicking up to the surface, scurrying out of the hot springs without a regard for so much as his towel. Then, consequently, he began trying to make his hands spit up the water they had swallowed when he was being held underneath the water.

"Spit it up, un!" He screeched, a little too loudly. He winced when a noise came from the other side.

"Was that you, Kima? What are you doing on the men's side?" Deidara's expression turned to panic and I chuckled as the rest of the Akatsuki strained to hear.

"I'm meeting my boyfriend...un..." Deidara said and Kisame had to hold his hand over Hidan's mouth to keep him from laughing out loud.

"Wait a...you wouldn't happen to be a boy?" The girl's voice held anger deep inside it and reminded me vaguely of the first time we had seen Konan on her period. In other words, too enraged to control further actions. The small squeak provided by Deidara was enough to set her off.

"YOU PERVERT! I SWEAR, WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU YOU WON'T BE RECOGNIZABLE!" Deidara jumped back when a fist came through the wall, quickly followed by a well-placed kick. Then an angry woman stormed through, her every intention focusing on beating the crap out of Deidara. That was quickly changed when Hidan pulled up her towel and let out a low whistle.

"D*mn." He said. That was all it took for her fury to change from Deidara to him. Let's just say Hidan was unrecognizable afterwards. Best birthday ever.

Then End

...

now this is kakazu's idea of a bday! Chilling in a hot spring and watching some girl beat the crap put of Hidan. The only way it could be better is if the water was money instead of being...well, water. Thanks for reading!


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